FOR THE LOVE OF RELATIONSHIPS – Are Weddings Important?
My daughter got married in May so naturally I relived the special moments of the wedding and thought about this incredible event with great interest and curiosity.
Because weddings are so expensive, many choose to skip the event and put the money that would have been spent on a wedding into a down payment for a house or to pay off school debt. There is some debate about this wedding trend jump. I wonder why weddings are important. Several months ago my 33 year old daughter asked me if I would be upset if she and her fiance had to run away. I told her that she was a mature young woman and that she could do what worked for her. I said that I was hoping that she would create a supportive community for her upcoming marriage and experience a special celebration for such a transition period in her young life. Shortly after this exchange, she called and asked if we could go buy some wedding dresses. She too had explored the importance of having a wedding celebration with her family and friends. What we both discovered is that a marriage has multiple goals.
One of the goals is to celebrate marriage in the community by increasing its visibility and value. Weddings and marriage have been replaced by the slippage in relationships, casual sex and cohabitation that have become the social norm. According to researcher and author Kay Hymowitz, there are two Americas, those who marry and those who don’t, depending on education and financial resources. His book Marriage and Caste in America, Hymowitz describes this cultural shift.
Another goal is to showcase the thoughtful, intentional and public engagement of two people in the presence of their family and friends. The third purpose of a marriage, the most precious of the three, is to provide a ceremony of oral promises before God and witnesses. The couple recite their vows by asking the community of those present to support and supervise them.
At my daughter’s wedding, after the vows were taken between them, the celebrant then asked the guests to stand up and engage with an “I want it”. The participants promised to support the guide, the mentor and to be available to help this couple in their marriage, because after every marriage comes a marriage with all the ups and downs of life’s adventures and obstacles.
One of the ways that we as a nation can continue this wonderful tradition of marriage and marriage celebration without the huge cost is to ask organizations to hold the wedding ceremony that allows the couple to have so much. of guests he wishes. After the ceremony, they can throw a punch and a celebratory cake in the reception area. This way, guests can attend this amazing life transition event and offer support in the years to come without going into debt. The more guests who witness this life transition and the promise to care for one another, the more the couple feels supported and loved. After all, love, support, and community building is the real goal of a marriage. [email protected], www.myrelationshipcenter.org