DA 11/07/21 | | bdtonline.com




CHER ABBY by Abigail Van Buren


DEAR ABBY: I have been with my fiancé for six years (fiancé for almost two). We have a 4 year old daughter. In the six years that we have been together, he has only worked for two years. He’s been trying to start a business for two years, but it still doesn’t work. The stress of working, taking care of our child and trying to find a way to pay the bills is literally killing me. Without her mother’s help, I would have already had a nervous breakdown.

I don’t know how to make him understand that he needs to step up and figure out how to contribute to our family without being on the defensive. I’m burning fast and I’m about to leave it. (Almost there.) My family thinks I would be happier if I left, but I would feel guilty for leaving his mother in a bad situation. No advice? –DRAINED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DRAINED: Think about what’s best for your daughter. If you become physically or emotionally ill from stress and cannot work, how will your child be supported? Suggest that your fiancé take a part-time job to earn money, while still giving him time to grow his business. If he refuses, take your daughter and leave until he recovers financially.

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DEAR ABBY: Our daughter, who is 12, has this idea that at the end of school she wants to become a professional player. She thinks she will make a lot of money. I never tell her that she can’t do something because I want her to know how capable she is. I just wish she aspired to help humanity in a more useful way.

She is, and always has been, very popular among her peers. She has a friendly personality and a good heart. What can I say to my daughter to help her understand that there are so many other things that she can do with her life? I saved some money for her to use as she pleases when she reaches legal age. I don’t want to give it to her unless she develops higher aspirations for herself. What’s your best advice? – MOVING MAMA IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MAMA: Your daughter is 12 years old! (If it brings any comfort to you, when I was her age my “dream” was to be 5’9 “and sing the blues standing under a blue spotlight wearing a black velvet dress. I’m 5’2” “, and my best singing is done in the shower.) I can guarantee that your daughter’s aspirations will develop more than once before she reaches legal age. In the meantime, “suggest” that there are many rewarding ways to be successful in this world, one of which is the satisfaction one gets from helping others. And encourage her to volunteer and venture into other fields to expand her possibilities and opportunities.

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DEAR ABBY: If you hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally, is there a need to apologize? — DID NOT WANT

DEAR “DNMT”: Of course it is. It’s no different from stepping on someone’s toe while sitting in a movie theater.

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For everything you need to know about planning a wedding, order “How to have a beautiful wedding”. Send your name and mailing address, along with a check or money order for $ 8 (in US dollars) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling costs are included in the price.)

(EDITORS: If you have editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, [email protected])


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